taco tuesday

January 27, 2026

it’s taco tuesday and a guy almost runs me over
as i walk home from work, in the crosswalk
little guy, big truck, tale as old as time
he screams, yells & calls me a cunt as he drives by
matthew 5:44 says pray for your enemies
so i try to picture the little boy inside him
full of shame

it doesn’t work
three men in 24hrs have made me feel afraid
they have used their voices and size
posturing like gorillas to intimidate

i’m 5ft tall & it works

first, there was the guy screaming
yesterday at the photolab
imagine freaking out over getting pictures developed
he throws things and curses
i do not take my eyes off him
and i scan the area for potential weapons

then a big guy this morning
he yells too

then the big truck guy
screaming out his window
because i was in the way

five years ago
a man tried to kill me in the night
he had a weapon and i thought i would die
i am weary of the violence of men
i am weary of my hypervigilance
i am weary of this world that makes violent men

matthew says we should pray for those who hurt us
and god, i have, i have

but i’m weary of that too

i end up thinking about forgiveness in the taco place
the girl writes my name on the bag in cool letters
it’s stupid but i get emotional about it
sometimes it catches me off guard
when people are fun and kind and weird
and i get choked up, i don’t know why
there’s always gonna be the guy
screaming from a jacked up truck
but there’s also the girl at the taco place
making art on taco tuesday, just because

so, today, i pray for her instead